SELF

 Who are you? Who are you really? Once in while the veil slips & you finally see. Are you really from the world that has been presented to you as the one & only world? Is your personal narrative the one you insist on sticking with? Siddhartha was right. You cannot cling? Let go. For X’s sake let go of all those attachments. As my beautiful bride taught me. Cut the silver cord. There is an awakening that awaits each & every one of us. It does not come through passive attending. You must act. You must decide. Just say it aloud... “I wish to finally be awake” Open your eyes. Let go of the silver cord. Let the circus balloon you have dragged around all these year float free. Discover your genuine self. Discover the singularity of who you are & who you are continuous with. There is no division. There is One.  All that is required is that you finally open your eyes and awaken. Awaken. Now.

TRIANGLE

I have discovered the best friendships come in threes. I call it triangulating. Try it. Being single is being all alone. Couples... well, couples is true love I guess. Or maybe true  co-dependency. Way too much pressure. Two couples... now there is politics for you... jealousy comparison,  judgement. Five & more.... let the wild rumpus begin..... But three people together. Three friends. Check it out. That is balanced. The conversation flows. The energy flows. Take a breather. Listen. Trinity. The power of three.

FAMILY

There are two families we belong to. Our family of origin & our spirit clan. The great struggle many of us have had is balancing those two families. Our DNA uncoils. It expresses its manifest destiny & we are born. Our brothers & our sisters; our children, our parents & our ancestors... these present a sequence of links that cannot be unravelled, that lead us back into the dawn of human life here on the planet. This is solid, palpable reality. History. But our real clan lies beyond. I in no ways belittle the profound deep connection that lives in my biology. That is indelible love. I speak my truth, I am seeking my tribe.... my spirit clan. There are individuals here on the earth... here in this Universe that know me for who I am. Seek out your tribe. Seek the brothers & sisters that are connected to you spiritually. They are waiting to meet you, to bring you in to the circle. Your spirit-clan. They will make you whole. 

ORBS

ORIGINS

The great mystery: we live on more than one plane at once. I was born into a time & place. Montreal, Quebec, Canada. March 7, 1958. Into a particular family of a particular heritage with a set number of family members & a given set 0f traditions.  I honour that deeply. That is my personal narrative. The story of my life. Is that who I am, though? That is my persona. The mask from which I broad cast my voice. I am not that me.  As my brother Artur Rimbaud said “Je est un autre....I is an other”. I am a Divine Being having a human experience. When I pray, When I meditate... i enter into the centre of my true being. I cut the silver cord. I wish the mask to fall away. My origins are very distant. Beyond the eons of time. My family of origin. My original family. My family. The origin.

SOLITUDE

The moon, the moon, once again the moon. Sometimes I envy the other myriad sentient beings. It seems only my fellow humans are aware... ever aware of the impending advent of our demise. The moon for me sometimes is a reminder of how close my death looms. Perhaps it aids us to know that our time is limited. Perhaps it spurs us on to seek our higher selves, to move beyond the veil of mortality. Night after night. Profound solitude. I struggle with that.... my movement toward the light is accompanied by an ever-increasing sense of being alone... all, all alone. Alone on the side of the great night sea with my mother White Tara, the Maiden of the Moon.

RELEASE

Love is the great paradox. How do I hold someone close & yet let them go? Agape Love. Erotic Love.  Friendship Love. Love is not possession. Love is recognition. It is my path to achieve the serenity of transcendence. I fear I can only go to those far fields on my own. Alone.  My journey is so brief here in this time bound place. Even my family... my mother, my father, my brothers & sisters, the people I feel the deepest bond with...  I  cut the silver strings that bind me, allow them to float free into the ether. The sadness overwhelms. I bathe everyone I have ever loved in pale,  pure light. I release you.... in love... in peace.... I  enter the solitude of my true self.... 

PULSAR AND QUASAR

MAPS AND MUSIC

 "BE OPEN TO ALL THINGS. ATTACH YOURSELF TO NOTHING" Yes, I am a fan of wandering foot loose & fancy-free; of free style improvisation on the alto Sax. In the end I am a devotee of discipline. Maps show the clear path to the wide open road that leads to the great blue sea. Written music lets me touch fingers with the likes of Johann Sebastian Bach & that sorcerer's apprentice Jimmy Page. The secrets of the Universe are written in astral scrolls. I am so grateful my ancestors wrote them down. I am grateful I have eyes that see. I am reading the meaning. MAPS & MUSIC

TREE OF LIFE

The tree stood in the garden. The real question asked of our ancestors....  Will you eat of the fruit? Can you choose? Do you choose to become human? Are you not so glad we choose to know. Many avatars have come to us. The last great avatar had to be killed for us to get it. Nailed to a tree. The next great avatar is coming to us. He is very close. He may even be with us now. Have no fear. This time there will be no nails. No hanging from no tree. Just the great beautiful Tree of Stars. The Tree of Life. The Tree of Breathing Life. The Tree.

CRY WOLF

There are several species alive on Earth who are as evolved & intelligent as the Humans who know. They are certainly more noble & more connected than we are. On my list: the Raven, the Whale, the Shark, the Jaguar, the Owl, the Parrot, the Raptor ( all of 'em). You can add to your list if you know others. Top of the list for me is the Wolf. If you belong to the clan Wolf. If you have seen a wolf in the wild. If you are in awe of my brother & sister Wolves, you know. The arrogance of the Human is & will be our downfall. Listen to the cry of the Wolf. Listen close. Listen. For those who have ears..... HEAR!

BIG BIRDS

The painting SeaHorse is a reminiscence of my days scuba diving. Under the sea over a coral reef. The eyes adjust slowly. Miracle of Miracles, dapples of sun light turn into living creatures, each more fantastical than the next. Fish, Horses, Trees, Shells, Landscapes, Birds, Monsters. Into the sway of flashes & pulses float every creature of the Imagination. The Creator is Nothing if Not Imaginative. Beings I could not conceive of in my puny mind arrive, depart. Please allow yourself... at least in your dream life to go beyond the limited world we humans occupy. We live on a slim bandwidth in the bandwidths of infinity. Our little drama is just a Sit-Com in the the Eternity of Creation. For Christ's sake, relax a little, take a deep breath & look around. Here is a Raven, a Red-Tail & a Turkey-Vulture. Sparkle. Sparkle. Ping.

WILD HORSES

Keith Richards/Mick Jagger

Childhood living is easy to do. The things you wanted, I bought them for you. Graceless lady, you know who I am. You know I can’t let you slide through my hands. Wild Horses, couldn’t drag me away. Wild, wild  horses, couldn’t drag me away. I watched you suffer a dull, aching pain. Now you decided to show me the same. No sweeping exits or off stage lines could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind. Wild Horses couldn’t drag me away. Wild, wild  horses couldn’t drag me away. I know I’ve dreamed you a sin and a lie. I have my freedom but I don’t have much time. Faith has been broken. Tears must be cried. Let’s do some living after we die. Wild Horses couldn’t drag me away. Wild, wild  horses couldn’t drag me away. Wild Horses couldn’t drag me away. Wild, wild  horses we’ll ride them someday.

THE TYGER

                       By William Blake

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
 
In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare sieze the fire?
 
And what shoulder, & what art.
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? & what dread feet? 

What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp? 

When the stars threw down their spears,
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee? 

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry? 

DRACO

 "There is more to heaven and earth that is dreamt of in your philosophy" The hippocampus in the brain was named after the "curled horse of the sea" I think the pineal gland, the seat of the soul, should have a different name. I propose Draco. The dragon is the most mysterious creature of the human mind. Dragons & Angels are the mirror reflection of each other. If you see the ripples of an angel on a restless sea when the moon is high look close. Can you see the Dragon? I wish the world were as simple as all the big Books say. The world is mysterious. There is a danger at the heart of Beauty. Draco.

TOAD

How does the lowly toad fit into my life? Lowly? The Toad is the ancient lizard king of my pre-human memory. I  ascribe him status in the heart of my limbic system. No, toad reminds me more of the ground, of the solid pebble core of who I was, who I am. I notice toad only when I use my soft eyes. I see the mouldering leaves. The clumps of debris, the fallen bark below the trees. Suddenly I notice a living creature nestled quiet in a gully between trunks. Breathing in, out. Miracles of miracles he is looking at me with his distant dispassionate eyes. Shamans have been known to smoke toad venom to receive visions of the Divinity. Toads are of the ground but their gaze speaks of the wingbeats of angels.

ROBIN !!!!

SEAHORSE   Devendra Banhart 2007


I'm high and I'm happy and I'm free
I got my whole heart
Laid out right in front of me
And I finally can see
The way it's always been
The need for peace
Starts from within

So I leave my possesions to the wind
And I'm done with ever wanting anything
Well I can die satisfied
No desires do I hide
Not today, not today
Nor for the next one thousand lives

I want to be a little seahorse
I want to be a little seahorse
A little seahorse

I want to be a little seahorse
I want to be a little seahorse
I want to be a little seahorse...

Well I'm scared of ever being born again
If it's in this form again
Well I wanna know how why where and when and then
I wanna see you be the bright night sky
I wanna see you come back as the light
I wanna see you be the bright night sky
I wanna see you come back as the light

SEAHORSE

The beauty of the Creation is astounding. From the perfect coiled packing of the DNA in the nucleus of a single cell to the Dragon Nebula, in the constellation Serpens. From the infinitesimal to the infinite itself. Humans ascribe such importance to themselves. There are vast webs & interstices of complexity & perfection that do not include us at all. Gaze at the strange brilliance of the SeaHorse, a creature of magnificent delicacy. We are living in the Garden of Eden. We never left. We choose to see ourselves as fallen. Open your eyes. Take a deep breath. Are you not in love with your life?

INDIGO BEYOND

The ether, indigo beyond our view.

No fragrant Frangipani petal fall.

No soft caress of lip in darkened hall.

No word, no dream, nor mortal thoughts ensue.

A silence still serene in open space.

No water taste of salt on tip of tongue.

The air of song, a song that’s never sung,

Reveals the mirror’s deep & depthless face.

The waves of light that enter go straight through.

The mind demands an avenue, a wall.

The heaven beyond begets no time or place.

The bell that peals its peal cannot be rung.

We live in ether’s empty endless void domain.

We live a mystery in mystery’s ethereal plane.

JOY

To discover joy, you must go to the far north in the middle of winter. I propose a journey up the ice road from Inuvik to Tuktoyaktuk in late January. They houses are small. All are painted the colours of tropical fruit... of Popsicles. The sun has not risen yet. Twenty four hours: no dawn. The stars are brighter than you can imagine. Hera spills her milk across the blue bowl of the heavens. Aurora Borealis sways in curtains of Chartreuse, phosphor, ivory, gold with tints of red. Bertha from Sach's Harbour whistled to make the Northern Lights dance. You whistle. The sky dances. For four hours every afternoon the sky lightens to dusk... purples, mauves, lavenders with hints of avocado green. The edge of the horizon aches to release Old Sol our star in the sky. In twilight ice fog hugs the ground. Smoke climbs straight up. All is still. The air is brittle. Moving through a pastel landscape.The edges are soft. The wolf fur of your parka hood holds the silver mist of your breath. This is the air the Ravens call home. You feel Joy. Pure Joy.

BIG BLACK BIRD

Death, be a Raven. Be a big, black bird with an absurd, rough call. Fly black & awkward & observant into the blue, arctic air at the town dump to land on the highwires & chimneytops. Be intelligent Death, with the malicious intelligence of Raven, whose every movement is a raucous insult to life in a colourful, clapboard house. Death, be a Raven, big & black & fearless. That's what I fear about you Death: that you are as inscrutable & humourless as a rock's shadow or an expired breath. Death be a Raven for my catnapping mood & my fifty-odd years on the grass below the trees. Fly to the rooftops of other peoples' houses &  I will respect your coalfeathers & your prancing tapdance of mock doom. Death, be a Raven on the rooftops but do not perch at the foot of my bed to preen your horrid, inky wings, not tonight, nor tomorrow night. It would not be funny, not at all  Go away, big black bird... & leave the dog alone!

SELF

I have spent most of my life trying to release myself from myself. To achieve ecstasy. To be beyond or outside of my body. The Raven teaches me to seek the great joy of being embodied. My ego, my identity, my personality, my aging body, my smile, my thoughts, my memories, my dreams. These are the attributes that cohere to the core of me. Each raven is so individual, so contained, so perfect in who He or She is. I was mimicking the warble-song of the rooftop Raven. The Raven hops down to the edge of the eavestrough to spy me out. I spy him out. One sentient being gives the nod to the other. You are who you are. I like you who you are. You are not me. You are the one, the  only you. As Boddhi taught me "There was never ever anyone like me in the history of the Universe. There will never be anyone like me again." Revel in your you-ness. Greetings, Raven. I am the Me.